Abhaya Mudra

I have a new outlook on life thanks to some not so great people. But I've embraced it :) ΑΦΑ Till I die. Sp' 12 Siggy D.
Qu4d Up!!!!

Simply Me


college senior. Happy to be alive. Spontaneity is my new thing. Life is only as complicated as you make it.
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S/O TO THESE AWESOME PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THE LITTLE THINGS TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE ALOG THEIR JOURNEY!!!!

speaksofriversvirtuoso-conceptronel-ibthesejulezquietstormqu4dkingjeremie, and my bro dreamshappenhere

I thank all of y’all for taking the time to help me out. It means more than y’all know… Y’all wanna follow some great people/blogs??? Follow them!!!! 

Everyone, PLEASEEEEEE Vote for me!!!

Early Mournings

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself waking up at 3:30 after falling asleep at 12:30 on my best days. Not sure why but something doesn’t seem quite right.

When I do wake up, I just sit and think of all my problems. The silence of my sleeping world causes me to face the things that I don’t have time to deal with during the day. All the pain that I’ve been through. My mind races in the silence. How could peace be so painful.

I mourn for me because I know that no one else will. The ones I do let in don’t want to be, causing me to shut down and shut doors on people who try to be there for me not sure how many Mournings I can take.

I held onto the photos and the random screenshots that we both used to take of each other, in hopes that soon someday everything would just be alright again and that I would be able to take more pictures. As time goes on, I realize that this isn’t something that you wanted. I feel almost bad because I feel like I had some influence on who you are and some of the things that happened and for that I am sorry. I only meant to show you how much I cared and I thought that would be enough for us to make it through. My eyes are opened wide as I sit and think about the good and the bad times. How the good outweighed the bad but the bad always found a way to the surface because feelings can bring out the worst in people. I am sorry but I also forgive you for everything that happened. 2014 is another year and I couldn’t let it start officially without telling you that it’s all good and my perspective of life is changing and I’m rolling with it. As I leave you behind in my past, I let go of the guilt I feel and only hold onto the happy moments that were there.

12 people just followed me and 2 just told me they love me!

Never thought I’d say this, but I have really come a long way.

I really have full control over my mind and my depression (dysthymia). I am so grateful for that. I am so much stronger than I used to be and I can’t put into words how blessed I am and feel.

Everything is not 100% let’s not get that confused but I just seem to have a grasp on who I am and what to do. I don’t allow my mind to get away from reality too much and I really feel like I’m in control. Granted, life happens and things can always get worse and I have had moments where I feel really really low. But I will say that my hard work is really paying off. 

This is to anyone who has ever struggled with anything big or small. You can make it through. Just keep trying even when you feel like trying and working at getting better. It may seem stupid or that it doesn’t make all that big of a difference but it really is the little things that make life easier.

 

You could have told me the truth, but you just led me on to think that you loved me too.

Hold the hell on!!!!!

I had a moment of weakness where I felt really bad and sad about what I found out. Silly, foolish me. I did nothing but show love and thats all I could do. At the end of the day, I would still love just as much as I did when we were together. At the end of the day, I did my part and expressed how I felt, you just refused to do the same. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and it’s a damn shame that someone who had soooooooo much effect on me and my past, has nothing to do with my future. I guess it’s for the best. C’est La Vie! ^_^!


That uncomfortable moment when you find out that…

The person you used to talk to is snapchatting one of your Tumblr followers that you used to go to when there used to be a problem in the relationship….

.

If I ever have to wonder if you will tell me the truth, I don’t need you around.

October 20th 2013

Today is a rough one. Today is my aunt’s birthday and she passed a few years ago. I can’t stand that I can’t celebrate it with her anymore. Every year its gets harder and harder around her birthday because I remember all the laughs and conversations we had like it was yesterday. She was more than just my aunt; she was my bestfriend/grandmother/my rock/my comforter. I can’t believe that it’s been 5 years since she passed away. I feel so helpless without her voice in my ear sometimes. I never believed life existed without her as a kid. 

So today I am attempting to celebrate her bday but its really hard to do it by myself. Today is defintiely one of those days that I wish I was home with my family to at least get a little bit of comfort. Today has been the hardest birthday yet since she’s been gone and I’m not sure what to do to feel better.

-Lost One

Atlanta in 2 weeks and I can’t even pretend like I’m not dummy excited about it!!!!!

Currently depornifying my dash… This shit is getting out of hand… Like it’s not even noon lol…

ATL in October! I’ve been every year since I’ve been in school… Clearly I can’t get enough of that place!!! lol

image

Life is not perfect, but it’s as great as you make it.

Pleased with how things are right about now. Now time to celebrate the thing I once hated.

Life.

You were my fantasy,
You gave me something no one else could ever give.
Seemed like a dream back then,
Another story, we were young and innocent.

We were a perfect picture,
Make believe I could not see it, even when
Time and time again you left me there,
Another happy memory.