Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself waking up at 3:30 after falling asleep at 12:30 on my best days. Not sure why but something doesn’t seem quite right.
When I do wake up, I just sit and think of all my problems. The silence of my sleeping world causes me to face the things that I don’t have time to deal with during the day. All the pain that I’ve been through. My mind races in the silence. How could peace be so painful.
I mourn for me because I know that no one else will. The ones I do let in don’t want to be, causing me to shut down and shut doors on people who try to be there for me not sure how many Mournings I can take.